We are drawn to people who smile. There is an attraction factor. We want to know a smiling person and figure out what is so good. Frowns, scowls and grimaces all push people away -- but a smile draws them in (avoid these smile aging habits to keep your smile looking great).
It is very important to be specific with moresevere marital problems. If you’ve lost interest in sex with your spouse ask yourself “why,” and “what” is causing the loss of interest. Is it hormonal, is your spouse behaving in a way that keeps you from feeling close to him/her?
Finding a solution means finding the underlying cause of the marital problem. Generalization such as “he/she never helps around the house” or “I’m just not interested in sex,” is the problem. The trick is to find out what is causing the problem and solving the cause.
"Abang dah makan, tak nak beli kuih saya?" katanya selamba semasa menghampiri meja saya.
"Abang baru lepas makan dik. Masih kenyang lagi ni," kata saya sambil menepuk-nepuk perut.
Dia beredar, tapi cuma setakat di kaki lima. Sampai di situ, di meletakkan bakulnya yang masih sarat. Setiap yang lalu ditanya, "Tak nak beli kuih saya bang, pak cik, kakak atau makcik?"
Molek budi bahasanya! Mamak restoran itu pun tidak menghalang dia keluar masuk ke premisnya bertemu pelanggan. Sambil memerhati, terselit rasa kagum dan kasihan di hati saya melihatkan betapa gigihnya dia berusaha. Tidak nampak langsung tanda-tanda putus asa dalam dirinya, sekalipun orang yang ditemuinya enggan membeli kuihnya.
Selepas membayar harga makanan dan minuman, saya terus beredar ke kereta. Kanak-kanak itu saya lihat berada agak jauh di deretan kedai yang sama. Saya buka pintu, membetulkan duduk dan menutup pintu. Belum sempat saya menghidupkan enjin, kanak-kanak tadi berdiri di tepi kereta. Dia menghadiahkan sebuah senyuman. Saya turunkan cermin, membalas senyumannya.
"Abang dah kenyang, tapi mungkin abang perlukan kuih saya untuk adik-adik abang, ibu atau ayah abang." katanya petah sekali sambil tersenyum. Sekali lagi dia mempamerkan kuih dalam bakul dengan menyelak daun pisang penutupnya.
Saya tenung wajahnya, bersih dan bersahaja. Terpantul perasaan kesian di hati. Lantas saya buka dompet, dan menghulurkan sekeping not merah RM10. Saya hulurkan padanya.
"Ambil ni dik! Abang sedekah. Tak payah abang beli kuih tu," Saya berkata ikhlas kerana perasaan kasihan meningkat mendadak. Kanak-kanak itu menerima wang tersebut, lantas mengucapkan terima kasih terus berjalan kembali ke kaki lima deretan kedai. Saya gembira dapat membantunya. Setelah enjin kereta saya hidupkan, saya mengundur. Alangkah terperanjatnya saya melihat kanak-kanak itu menghulurkan pula RM10 pemberian saya itu kepada seorang pengemis yang buta kedua-dua matanya.
Saya terkejut, lantas memberhentikan semula kereta, memanggil kanak-kanak itu.
"Kenapa bang nak beli kuih ke?" tanyanya.
"Kenapa adik berikan duit abang tadi pada pengemis tu? Duit tu abang bagi adik!" Kata saya tanpa menjawap pertanyaannya.
"Bang saya tak boleh ambil duit tu. Mak marah kalau dia dapat tahu saya mengemis. Kata mak kita mesti bekerja mencari nafkah kerana Allah berikan tulang empat kerat pada saya. Kalau dia tahu saya bawa duit sebanyak itu pulang, sedangkan jualan masih banyak, mak pasti marah. Kata mak, mengemis kerja orang yang tak berupaya, saya masih kuat bang!" katanya begitu lancar.
Saya sebak, sekaligus kagum dengan pegangan hidup kanak-kanak itu. Tanpa banyak soal saya terus bertanya berapa semua harga kuih dalam bakul itu.
"Abang nak beli semua ke?" Dia betanya dan saya cuma mengangguk. Lidah saya kelu nak berkata.
"RM25 saja bang."
Selepas dia memasukkan satu persatu kuihnya kedalam plastik, saya hulurkan RM25. Dia mengucapkan terima kasih dan terus berlalu.
Saya perhatikan dia sehingga hilang daripada pandangan. Dalam perjalanan ke Kuala Lumpur, baru saya terfikir untuk bertanya statusnya. Anak yatimkah? Siapakah wanita berhati mulia yang melahirknya? Terus terang saya katakan, saya beli kuihnya bukan lagi atas dasar kasihan, tetapi kerana rasa kagum dengan sikapnya yang dapat menjadikan kerjayanya satu penghormatan.
Sesungguhnya saya kagum dengan sikap kanak-kanak itu. Dia menyedarkan saya, siapa kita sebenarnya!
The purple Amazon acai berry is highly promoted by acai products marketers as one of the “superfood” or miracle fruit with various properties, such as anti-aging, antibacterial, anti-cancer, anti-inflammatory, strengthens cardiovascular system, weight loss etc. There are manufacturers of various products, for example cosmetics and beauty include acai oil in the ingredient of their products as it is rich in antioxidants.
Being called the miracle fruit, acai berry is said to be able to reduce the risk of having cancer and helps in delay aging as it contains antioxidant properties. Although study has found out that extracts from açai pulp oil has anti-proliferative effects on HL-60 (Human promyelocytic leukemia cells), it is just an experimental leukemia and is done in vitro.
Acai berry is rich in essential fatty acids such as omega-6 and omega-9 fatty acid (linoleic acid and oleic acid) and is believed to be able to lower bad LDL cholesterol level and maintain the healthy HDL cholesterol levels. Since acai berry is also rich in dietary fiber and healthy monounsaturated fats, it is also promoted by marketers as a product which could help improving the healthiness of the cardio vascular system and digestive tract.
Acai berry is rich in carbohydrates and organic vegetable protein which is more easily digested than animal protein. Therefore, it is also said to be able to increase your energy levels. The beta-sitosterol, a type of plant sterols found in this fruit is said to be useful in treating benign prostatic hyperplasia and help controlling cholesterol.
A friend asked me for a favour. He needed my assistance to manage a bear farm for a few days. The location was remote and unknown by many.
I reached there at night. It was just before dawn, but I was still not able to sleep. I could hear the wind blow, as if someone was weeping with pain and hopelessness. At that very moment, I heard the sound of the door moving and heavy breathing. I sat up, pulled to a stand and turned on the light. “Who is it?” There was no answer. The silence was terrifying.
I reached out and grabbed a broom. Gently, I walked to the door and with a quick pull, opened it. Ha ! It’s a bear cub curling up her body looking sheepishly as me. I extended my hands and the cub waddled towards me. She rested her small palms on my hands. Then she licked my hand with her warm and soft tongue. It was so heart-warming.
Suddenly, I heard commotion from far. The cub quickly went under my bed.
Then, there was a knock on the door.
I opened the door and asked, “What’s up?”
A man said, “A bear cub just escaped from the bear farm. Has it come to disturb you?”
“Oh, yes, there it is.” I pointed at the cub’s hiding place.
The man squat down and grabbed the cub with one hand. With such roughness, he pulled the bear out and tied her four limbs to a long wooden stick. They lifted the stick and the cub was carried away from the room. As she left, she turned and gave me a begging and pitiful look.
After dawn, the worker on-duty, Zhang took me to see the bears. In a few thousand square meters wide and tall building, six cages were placed in an open space. In every cage, there laid a black and weary bear. What puzzled me was the shining metal around their bodies.
Zhang told me, “This iron vest is used to extract bile from the bear body. Now, the price of this bile is 300 yuan per gram.” He took me to the first cage, gesturing to me, “Let’s start the bile extraction.”
I saw two sturdy workers tied up the bear’s body and pulled, through a pulley, a rope that was connected to the iron vest. They shouted, “Hi….!” and I saw the bear’s body contracted as they pulled. Suddenly, the bear gave out a hysterical roar, “Woo….!”. That was not really a roar. It has changed to a desolate and sorrowful cry. Her eyes showed endurance of excruciating pain. With restricted movement and space, she tried to struggle with her four limbs, kicking the ground with, “Ze la, Ze la” sound, which was such a pain to hear. At that very instant, I could hear the dripping sound of liquid coming out from a steel pipe under the bear’s stomach.
The workers then slowly released the rope followed by another long hard pull, as they repeated the extraction procedure. Another hoarse cry was heard. I saw the tears drop from the bear’s eyes. Similar to how a human would response to pain; the bear clenched its teeth and bent its body. It was such a heart-breaking scene! I could not bear to watch any further. I turned and walked away.
At that moment, I suddenly realised, the moaning cry before dawn came from these tragic bears.
Zhang followed me to the door. With trembling voice, I asked him, “Have you lost your humanity? These are living things!”
Zhang dismissed it, “Not that we have any choice. This is how we earn a living.”
Calming down, I asked him with a heavy heart, “How often do you need to extract the bile?”
He replied, “That depends. If the bear has good supply of bile, we will do it once or twice a day. The bear with less bile will be performed once in two days. Generally, a bear can produce 2000g of bile annually for 10 years.”
I trembled. Twice a day for 10 years, these are monstrous numbers! The bear has to go through such deadly torture twice a day, living a life without hope, for 10 years; 7200 times of flesh piercing pain; enduring it day after day, year after year. Even if this happens to the strongest human, he will not be able to sustain it. My heart ached with pain.
I wanted to leave. Zhang said, “In a short while, a surgery will be performed on the cubs. You cannot leave at this critical moment. You are representing Mr. Liu. If you leave and something goes wrong, who is going to bear the responsibility?”
Reluctantly, I followed him back to the bear room. Under his instruction, four sturdy workers brought in a cub and tied it up with chain. The cub looked at everyone with horror. When she saw me, her eyes brightened up. The cub dropped to her knees and begged me. I felt tears in my eyes.
Zhang waved his hands, instructing the workers to start the surgery.
In great despair, the cub lifted her head and cried, “Wooo….” She burst into tears. It was the most sorrowful and soul-touching cry I have ever heard in my life. It was as if knowing the human language, the cub shouted out the word, “Mom….”. Even the workers were startled.
At that very moment, an extra-ordinary shocking scene took place. A bear in a cage let out a loud cry. With her large hands and all her strength, she pushed open the thick iron bar and jumped out of the cage. The workers were terrified and fled away immediately.
Startled, I didn’t move. It was as if my legs had grown lead and I was not able to move an inch. However, the bear ignored my presence. She rushed to the cub. With her large hands, in awkward movement, she frantically tried to release the cub from the chain. Despite her best effort, she failed to release the cub. So, she kissed the cub and nestled her in her arms with a heavy heart. She licked the cub’s tears lovingly, crying, “Hmm ..hmmm….” to soothe the cub. The cub cried out, “Hoooo….”, as if calling her mom, asking her for rescue.
Suddenly, the bear let out a loud cry. With her large hands, she strangled the cub’s neck with all her might. She roared as she strangled until the cub’s body fell to the ground. Then, she released her hands. Looking at her dead child, she whimpered, as if saying, ”My child, I cannot save you, but you are not going to suffer any more. I’m so sorry.”
She bit her own hair. Then, she grabbed the iron vest and pulled it off her body. Together with the vest, the metal pipe flew out of the gallbladder. The fur at her stomach was covered with red blood as it dripped out of her stomach. She let out another cry, as if she has gone hysterical, and went towards the wall. “Bang!”. The wall collapsed.
I was in shock. I could not recall how I left this brutal place.
For a whole day, my mind was preoccupied with these tragic scenes. I asked myself, “Was the mother bear’s move an act of motherly love? I believe so. It was an act of helpless motherly love. At that moment and place, she did not have the ability to help her child to escape from the twenty years of hellish torture. Under such helpless and desperate situation, she can only destroy the beloved child she has created. She then took the same path to follow her child, hoping to accompany her. “
The first Ramadan fast is exciting, especially for little kids who yearn to perform the religious duty like their parents. But the experience is much more exciting for men and women who have just converted to Islam and are beginning their first fasting experience in their 40s. What do new Muslims say about Islam and Ramadan? How did they perceive Ramadan before their conversion to Islam? What are their feelings now that they have become Muslims? |
"I used to make fun of Ramadan and the notion of Islamic fasting. I used to ridicule those Muslims who torture their bodies by fasting," said Marcos-now-turned-Ahmed Moamen.
"I lived in the U.A.E. for nine years as a traditional Christian who irregularly goes to Church. For me and my colleagues, Ramadan was a nightmare. It was a month in which we were all confined to our homes as all bars remain shut," he recalled.
"This was not the only thing I detested about the Ramadan fast, but also this tough treatment of both body and soul. I used to believe the body has desires that should be met. Therefore, I only perceived of fasting as an unjustifiable and illogical torture," Moamen, a Filipino, said, recalling what he termed as the "bad" old days.
"Five months ago, the Almighty Allah guided me to Islam. I had a long time roommate, who once converted to Islam, tried hard to lure me into it. He used to discuss Islam and gave me some translated books about the faith until the Almighty finally opened up my heart. And here I am having my very first fasting experience in Ramadan," Moamen said.
"After Allah guided me to Islam and after having fasted several days of Ramadan, I found out that all my previous ideas about the rights of one's body were not true and that straightening our bodies once a year is of great wisdom. That is why Allah ordered us to fast one month of the year and not the whole year," said Moamen of his new spiritual experience with Ramadan.
"It [fasting] brings the Muslim closer to Allah. I do not exaggerate if I say that I feel a serenity I have never before felt in my entire life," Moamen concluded.
Abdul-Rahman Yousef, a Lebanese who was named Tony before embracing Islam, is also experiencing his first Ramadan.
Sounding delighted about the new fasting experience, Yousef said he was overwhelmed by joy and that fasting helped him feel the serenity that only fasters enjoy.
"Ever since Allah guided me to Islam, I’ve become used to the habit of fasting every Monday and Thursday [following in the footstep of Prophet Muhammad, Allah’s peace and prayers be upon him] to make up for my sins which I committed before Islam," he said.
"But, fasting in Ramadan is totally different because the holy month has its own sense of spirituality and serenity that is absent from other days and months," Yousef asserted.
"Even prayers in Ramadan are different from the usual prayers," he said, adding that Allah magnifies the good deeds of Muslims in Ramadan and spares them from Jahannam (hell).
Yousef lamented having wronged Islam and Muslims in the past, especially during the civil war in Lebanon, and prayed to Allah the Almighty to forgive his previous bad deeds.
Carol Anoi was brought up in a Protestant Scottish family. She spent her childhood in the countryside which gave her a chance for contemplation and meditation.
After she finished school in London, she got a job in a U.A.E. hotel and spent several years there until she got involved with an Arab Muslim.
"I loved him so much and he started talking to me about Islam. I began with him a search journey. We read most of the books on Islam in English," said Carol-turned-Fatma al-Zahra' Mohammad (the name of one of Prophet Muhammad’s daughters).
"I realized that Islam is the right faith that dignified the human being and catered for the rights of man, woman and child," she stressed.
"I found it a religion in harmony with human nature," Fatma said.
"When I read the holy Qur’an, I found answers to all questions haunting my mind and soul. Eventually, I converted to Islam and we [she and her Arab Muslim friend[ got married," she recalled.
"As for Ramadan, I cannot describe to you how delighted I am to fast Ramadan this year.
"Ramadan's atmosphere makes us feel closer to Allah. And since it is a month of worship, we are keen on getting closer to the Almighty through prayers," Fatma added.
"I cannot describe my happiness while performing Taraweeh prayers with many other Muslim women," she said, lamenting that in ordinary days one would not find so many worshippers in prayers.
Amnah Jordon, once a Caroline Jordon, from South Africa said it was that unique peace reflected in the body movements during prayers that attracted her to Islam in the first place.
"Fasting is a fine way of spiritual and psychological elevation and these were the things that guided my way into Islam," said Amnah.
"Fasting and Ramadan are the most joyful religious rituals and the closest to my heart," she added.
"I spent years of my life searching for a way for spiritual satiety. I adored contemplation sessions and read a lot in oriental philosophy but never reached satisfaction," she underlined.
"I completed my study in the U.A.E. and happened to live by some Muslim neighbors who always performed their prayers by the book.
"I used to sit and watch their Rukou’a [kneeling] and Sujoud [the position when a Muslim worshipper’s head touches the ground during prayers] and it was very touching because Rukou’aand Sujoud are magnificent body and spiritual sport," Amnah said.
She recalled performing prayers and practicing Rukou’a and Sujoud even before converting to Islam.
"I felt a kind of serenity I have never experienced before, and since that very moment I began a quest to explore Islam until Allah guided me into becoming a Muslim and I was overwhelmed by spiritual peace," Amnah concluded.
